CANCER! (XXIX)

It has been more than a year now, but still whenever I get those images of syringes, injections, white hospital bed, blue gown, the big medical machines, the blood and the platelets in front of my eyes my body starts shivering. That was the bad time and the most difficult one of my life. However, that time had taught me a lot.

FEAR

Fear is the biggest enemy of human kind. In fact we fear God also that's why we pray Him and always try to please Him. We basically fear pain. I got cancer in leg. After going through 5 surgeries- 2 major and 3 minor, 3 in leg and 2 on shoulder, radiotherapy and chemotherapy the fear of pain is completely gone now. 

Another fear of humankind is death. Well! Now I laugh at death. 

DARING  

Removal of fear automatically made me daring and bold. While on bed I started jotting down things I needed to do, out of which some were going on a solo trip, learning bike, travelling on bike, to dance again, to go on trip driving my own car etc. All this was dependent on my leg. After one year now I have already gone on a solo trip to Narkanda, have drove my car till Jim Corbett, have started dancing and am back on my feet. And my plans for learning bike have already started taking shape. 

FUTURE

I have stopped thinking about future. I had made lots of plans before but then cancer struck me. Life is unpredictable and pain is inevitable. I have realised that each living day is important. I have started valuing my life.

HEALTH

Though health is uncertain, but taking its good care is in our hands. Disease will fall on us but to fight with that disease is important. I have realised the importance of good health. Now my schedule includes daily exercise. My office is on 6th floor and I prefer taking stairs than the lift. Every morning reaching office by stairs give me a sense of great achievement.

FAMILY  

More than me it was my family who had suffered. I could understand the pain of my mother when she saw me in ICU. I could realise the pain of my father when he used to go out of the hospital room whenever a nurse came to put a drip or an injection. I could understand the pain of my sisters when they used to put oil on my leg and the pain of my brother when he used to caress my head. My family is now everything for me. We follow the policy of "LET BYGONES BE BYGONES' and rarely discuss that time.

There is reason for everything I suppose. I won't say that whatever happens, happens for good. Me getting cancer was never good. But yes, it made me stronger, more confident, more acceptable to the situations and made me understand life, MY LIFE.