MY DIARY (XLVIII)

I need love but I fear too much love
Hate me, but don't hate me too much

I am settled but I like being a wanderer
I wander and I come home with my mind settled

I get confused but it's fun
I toss a coin and I get the solution

These random thoughts and I feel I am crazy
but in the end these make my life easy. 

Simple, easy, beautiful life- Sweet Water Lake, Goa

ZINDAGI (XLVII)

Aaj chand jaise zameen pe utar aaya tha
Maine usse apni mutthi mein pakda 
aur jhole mein daal liya
Aaj main bahut khush thi
Aasmaan mein dekha to wo nahi dikha
Main khush thi ki wo mere paas mehfoos rakha tha
Baadal chante aur mera bhram toota
Jhola dekha to wo nahi dikha
Bahut dhoondha maine usse
Wo wahin tha jahan usse rehna tha
Jise kabhi maine apni muthi mein saraha tha
Ab roz main usse aasman mein dekha karti hun.

Matiana, Himachal Pradesh

SIMPLICITY(XLVI)

I have seen the rich and a struggler
I know a crooked and a nobler
I have experienced love and hatred
I have seen the cursed and the sacred
But in you I first time found the simplicity
The ultimate eccentricity. 

Company Garden, Mussoorie

LOVE (XLV)

I loved, and appreciated, and respected
He ignored, and overlooked, and disregarded
I poured my heart out
Just to tell him how much I love
But he was in his own sweet world
I tried
But he never understood
And by the time he realized
The time had already taken its own tide.

Like water I made my own path (Dhuandhar Ghat- Jabalpur, Madhya Pradesh)

LIFE (XLIV)

I want to scream
Shout to this world
What I am going through
I want to tell everyone my plight
Let everyone listen
And laugh at me
And suffer with me
And share my agony

I want to scream
Shout to this world
Cry for help
That I want to come out of this
Help me! Help me! Help me!
And share my suffering.

( A thought as to why we are afraid of sharing our emotions, plight with this world, thinking what the other person will think. Sharing may not provide complete solace, but it doesn't harm also)

Deer Park, Delhi

Jaipur

KASOL (Day 4 and 5)- (XLIII)

I started retreating to Kasol
the next day
with more confidence
as then I knew the way

Reaching Chalal
I took a break
I stopped at Guru Cafe
which was serving ash cake

There I met few people
who joined me in my journey to Kasol
We stopped at river bed
which was their common protocol

Tired but still energetic
I went to Little Italy Cafe
I had Apple Cider
as I realised it was Friday

The day was still incomplete
As I hadn't gone to Evergreen
Trippy music and delightful dinner
Watching the brightness of full moon in between

The next day I caught a bus
till Manikaran
which is famous for its hot spring, Gurudwara and hot cave
amongst everyone

I went into the cave
and it was like taking sauna bath
so soothing, so meditating
it removed all the previous day's trek wrath

In evening I caught bus till Delhi
reached my home the next morning
Happy, peaceful, settled, satisfied
Kasol, a heaven on earth
I left behind.

Vapours of hot Spring- Shiv Mandir (Manikaran)

In Shiv Mandir black chana boiled in hot spring water is given as parshad 

Shiv Mandir- Manikaran

Mr. Kapinjal, another solo traveller from Assam- a seeker with good sense of humour 

Hot spring

Manikaran

Vapours of hot water

Kasol

KASOL- DAY 3 (XLII)

Day 3

The day started with breakfast and the river view

Alpine cafe, mountains and the sky which was bright blue

I started my trek for Chalal

reaching there in half an hour

Wondering what to do next

I met a group of people who suggested to go to Rasol

which was a two hours trek

I joined them in their venture

And when they stopped in between

Bidding them goodbye, I continued with my own adventure

Two hours passed and I couldn't see any sign

I met a group of villagers who told me

it would take another two hours, but I would be fine

We walked together till the half way, talking in sign language

Washing face in waterfalls, drinking water as I was carrying no sandwich

The mountain was getting steeper

And I started losing patience

Alone, empty stomach and the fear of unknown

Pain started in my leg bone

But there was no looking back now

I had to reach Rasol somehow

Finally I reached my destination

and for me it became a pure celebration

I hogged on food like I hadn't eaten in days

Paranthas, Maggie, chai and the lays

When the stomach got full

my mind started working

No stamina to retreat

Yes! a new guest house- I started searching

Exploring the village Rasol and climbing further

I found a guest house with the name Dola Ram

Mr Dola Ram being the owner and Ramesh the caretaker

With the snow covered mountain peaks

the view was spectacular

It was worth a trek

and I realised that's how life is of a traveller

It was chilling cold there at the top

I could see the clouds moving in my lap

and suddenly I felt a rain drop

Ramesh immediately moved the bonfire inside the kitchen room

Cooked delicious omelette and tea

Talked about his two children

and the story of how he became a groom

Rains became heavier

We chatted with the TV on

I retreated to my room

thinking what was next from thereon

Tired but unable to sleep

I grabbed my book "Into The Wild"

As if it was my story

I read and smiled

It was an amazing day 

by all means

And I didn't realise

when I went into the deep dreams.

bridge to cross Parvati River- Way to Chalal

way to Rasol

Trek

Beauty

Mr Ramesh

View from my Room- Dola Ram Guest house

Waterfall- A village man whom I requested to take my picture and he became quite  excited after  holding the camera

View from Om Cafe where I had paranthas and maggie

Way to Rasol

The fellow villagers 

The fellow villagers

KASOL (Day 1 and 2) - MY ANOTHER SOLO VENTURE! (XLI)

24th November 2015- 29th November 2015

Day 1 and 2

There was some jinx between Kasol and me,
whenever I used to make plan, my friends ditched me.

This time I decided to go solo
to explore the place with my own shadow.

I booked an evening bus from Delhi
reached Bhunter with an empty belly

On the adjacent seat I met a man
who was a contractor and a businessman

He snored the whole night
but when he talked, he talked  right

He discussed his business
and I discussed my passions

He asked that why I was alone
Didn't I like the company of known

I said I wanted to spend time with myself
To find and to explore myself

He helped me find a bus from Bhunter to Kasol
My guest house not being good I started taking a stroll

I booked a new place 'Raj Palace'
It was a perfect place to find solace.

I started exploring the roads and cafes
The Parvati river and the mountains. 

That's how the day was well spent
More to come as to what I saw and dreamt. 

PARVATI RIVER

GRAFFITI ON KASOL WALLS

EXPLORING KASOL

GRAFFITI

KASOL ROADS

CONTENTMENT (XL)

I wanted money

God gave me plethora of it,

I wanted love

God bestowed excess of it

I wanted freedom

God gifted me that on birth itself

I wanted identity, protection, affection, 

understanding, leisure and creation,

I have 'everything' now 

but still feel I have nothing

I wondered what else I want

And realised that there lies no answer

I can never be content 

without my own will and consent.

House Boat, Kerala

LOVE- IT'S AN ILLUSION (XXXIX)

I remember you every minute

Though we may not talk everyday

I dream about you day and night

Though we may not meet everyday

I dance to the tune of your music

And you play to the rhythm of my movement

It is the distance which keeps us together

Otherwise, our Love is an illusion.

Illusion (Baba Dhansar Lake, Vaishno Devi)

LOVE- IT'S ALL ABOUT SIMPLE GESTURES! (XXXVIII)

I love your kiss and your hug

I love your magical touch

I love the way you hold my hand

while crossing the road

You somewhat somewhere 

ease all my load

I love the way we shop together

And our breakfast of tea, bread and butter

I just love the way you are

You make me forget all my scars

I wish you never change

Though our paths are different

our relationship always remains the same.

Life is a journey (Lansdowne, Uttrakhand)

And we are tiny souls in this journey (Jim Corbett, Uttrakhand))

RISHIKESH (XXXVII)

5th September,2015- 8th September, 2015

I wondered what to write in the heading but then I was unable to get any words. Words are less to describe this trip. This was not just any trip, it was the trip wished by my mom and we had to fulfil her wish at any cost. My mom is not keeping well these days and one day while we all were sitting around her, she said that she wanted to do "Ganga Snan" (she wanted to go to Rishikesh). In half an hour I booked the taxi, driver and the resort and by 6 in evening we were on roads (my previous travelling experience helped me to do the bookings so quickly). It was Janmashtami and the roads of Haridwar and Rishikesh were well lit and full of festivity. We reached our Resort- The Divine Resort at exact 12 o'clock when the Guest Relation Officer was doing his Janmashtami pooja and got excited to see us and told us that Krishna comes at  12 o'clock. He offered us the bhog- the very tasty white butter and mishri.

ISKCON Temple

TRIVENI GHAT

We entered the rappelling water of Triveni Ghat and the smile on my mother's face brought tears in my eyes- her smile was so peaceful and satisfactory. The first words which she uttered were "Mere bache mujhe Ganga le aye" (my kids have brought me to Ganges). She took three holy dips in the water and her smile keep widening. I wondered that faith has so much power in it. It was an achievement for her, an achievement for all of us- a victory.

My mother doing Surya Namaskar

We attended the evening Aarti. Chants echoing in the air, devotional ringing of the bells and the light of the fire- It was both divine and human.

THE DIVINE RESORT

Our Divine Resort was indeed very divine.  Sitting on terrace of our room, with river Ganga and the mountains in front of me, I saw a bird flying merrily and I wondered do these birds, flies, rivers and mountains experience the same emotional pain the way we humans do, do they experience the same sorrows of cycle of life and death- my questions remain unanswered and that bird went and joined the flock of other birds.

View from our terrace

The Private Ghat of the Resort with crystal clear water

SAHASTRADHARA

Sahastradhara is some 50 kms away from Rishikesh towards Dehradun. Though we didn't like the place much but the road journey to Sahastradhara via Raipur was mesmerizing. The road was passing through the forest and the river with warning boards coming all the way stating "beware of wild elephants".

Spring water at the roadside

Crossing the shallow river

View from Rope-way

View from Rope-way

This trip was full of fun and hidden tears. The only wish which I have now is to go to many such more trips with my mom, the only wish which I have now is to fulfil all my mom's wishes.

Quotation in Madras Cafe

THE DAY I WAS FLYING! (XXXVI)

8th August, 2015

Early morning mist
And droplets still on the leaves
Silence and peace on the road
With only the sound of wind
My feet on those pedals
And I was flying on the wheels!

This is what I experienced when I bought a cycle for me.

Sceptical in the start and worried about the strength in my legs I started practicing on the gym cycle before buying an actual cycle ((in my previous posts I have shared the story as to how I fought Cancer which was found in my leg). I practiced for a month and joined various Delhi Cycle groups on Facebook for the encouragement. So one day I went to cycle market and got a cycle for me. Situated in Old Delhi this market is famous for all types of cycles. I hired a cycle rickshaw from my home as it was impossible for a car to go there. The place was very crowded. So while trying the cycles on the road that little fear was there in my heart that whether I would be able to do this or not. As the road was very crowded it was very difficult in the start and I actually couldn't balance properly (though I was the reason for many people to smile and I could get those vibes from them that somewhere they wanted me to do this and that was quite encouraging). I finally chose a blue cycle (blue is my favourite colour) and get that loaded on the cycle rickshaw.

I stay on first floor so I had to take the stairs with the cycle now. I parked my cycle carefully outside the house locking it with a chain. By this time I was already in love with it. I entered my house and my parents asked me that why I got late from office. Hesitated I was,  I told them that I have got a cycle now. They were in a shock (this was another shock I gave them after my solo trip). My parents were little angry. But more than angry I knew that they were worried. I very well understand the heart of my parents now (they have seen me going through all odds and I know now they can't afford to see me getting hurt). I assured them that I would be safe.

Next morning I was so excited, I got up at 5 am, put on my sport shoes, carried my small back pack, took my cycle down to the ground floor, and I was on the roads pedalling, swinging and singing. I cycled for one and a half hour on Raj Ghat stretch. That road is 1 km long stretch, green and beautiful. I came back home and my parents were now smiling at me. My Dad then said jokingly "I know what's your next plan, Royal Enfield and then Harley Davidson!" To which I replied, " How do you know that papa. That's absolutely true. That's my plan for next year (learning bike)." And once again my parents were in shock.

Photo of Rajghat road clicked long back in afternoon. The road is more beautiful in morning.